My Bro used to drag me along to Young Left meetings, to branch stack against the Conservative elements. I thought they were Boring or Weird... I was 15 - 16. One became a member of Parliament, currently in Long Bay Jail for Boning Boys... Yes, he HAS been Beaten Up in Jail. 8^)
My BRIEF Foray into Personal Politics here, aged 11...
Captain
of School
When I was in the sixth
grade – the last of primary school down here – there were
elections for school captain. It was by popular vote amongst 5th
and 6th grades only. Boys voted for the boys, girls for
the girls. Someone must have nominated me for captain, probably my
desk buddy, Jeff Milton, but I never asked. It was an attractive
notion but I was not “popular” really. The prospect
of getting some real, enforcable RESPECT began to obsess
me, but I thought I had no chance. The front runner was
Dean E, the Alpha Male of the class who had all but me and a few
other 6th grade boys in his entourage.
But then a strange, rather
devious plan occurred to me. Dean was a free spirit. And he was a
kind of enlightened bully
who only really preyed on other bullies. Merciless with
those who picked on the LITTLE folk. A “Head Hunter” like that
Celebrated Son of Melbourne, Chopper Read. (Chop Chop was
NOT a bully at school, he was Bullied,
and made it his life's work to repay the bullies of society.)
I
went to him, and convinced him that the whole school captain thing
would cramp his style. Having to set a good example
all the time. Having to enter all school sporting events and
activities. Having to greet visitors to the school, having to make a
speech at assembly every second week (alternating with the girls'
captain). I convinced him the whole thing would be a total
albatross necklace to him. And, you know, to throw his
voting block behind me for pointing out this pitfall to
him in the nick of time....
It worked. The plan was
conceived in a moment of clarity, and executed in 2 or 3 minutes. I didn't have to Campaign for a Single Vote, Bypassed all THAT Sh*t. 8^)
I hadn't even READ
Machiavelli at that age. I was delighted (about everything except
giving the speeches to the whole school, I nearly crapped myself in
the lead up to those – shyness about public speaking). My parents
were delighted, which delighted me. I got to wear
The
Badge of Office
for a whole year, and I still have it
somewhere. I had the power to send other kids to the principal's
office to get flogged. Which I never used once all year.
I think it was desperation
to get a little respect that spurred on this deviousness. I think
Dean was amused by Jesus tempting the Devil. Dean
sought ME out and sat next to me at a 25th High School
reunion and we had a great old time talking about it, and other
shared memories. He had the cushiest of jobs. HE was a captain
now, of a tug boat. He worked 6 months a year (on call 24/7), and had
six months off.
I was the James
Carville of the school. I should have gone into politics. But I
had SOME ethics....
“If
you Can't be CAPTAIN, Don't Play!” - Joseph P Kennedy Sr
(Fascist
Asshole, and father of Joe Jr, John F, Bobby and Teddy Kennedy)
Funny, Those who Listened to the Kennedy-Nixon Debate on RADIO thought Nixon won Hands Down. Those who Watched it on TV thought Pretty- Boy War Hero won.. 8^)
