The ASSORTED PRESS asks about the Texas question

Posted by: Fritz ^Ž

01/24/2005, 13:30:35

The ASSORTED PRESS asks about the Texas question

January 24, 2005 (TAP) Our Assorted Press roving street reporter, Cosmo Politan, went to an unidentified Texas city to ask the following question;

"Old Vet from Texas posted message in a political forum where he suggested that those folks not from the great state of Texas may suffer from a form of 'inferiority complex'. As a Texan what do you think about Texas?"

Natalie Attired

"I came from the North and miss skiing. There is no skiing in Texas, I guess if God had meant for Texans to ski, he would have made bullshit white."

Manuel Labor

"Texans are funny people. They drink Tequila on a cold day to warm them up; then they put ice in it to make it cool. Then they say, 'Here's to you' and drink it themselves."

Mike Oxbig

"Texas is the largest state in the lower 48, this is great for drunks who need room to fall."

Hammond Eggs

"A quiet Texan

is about as harmless as a TNT storeroom built over a match factory."

Barry D'Alyve

"In Texas there are three things to beware of - the hoof of a horse, the horn of a bull and the smile of a Texan you just called a son-of-a-bitch."

Joy Rider

"In the beginning, Texas was a big blank map, and the officials sat around it like a committee, trying to work out the best way to fill it in."

Copiedrite 2005, The Assorted Press and Fritz Inc., a few rights preserved.