The Tin Foil Hat Crowd Wants it to be Bush's Fault 

 

By The ASSORTED PRESS (TAP)

 

Dec. 30, 2004 (TAP) Within the dank damp basements of left-wing hate-Bush cells, liberal plotters are racking their brains trying to think of ways to blame the tsunami on the Bush administration.

Chief TAP investigative reporter, Tim Buck II, working undercover visited several anti-Bush cells. Reporter Tim Buck II also checked various Bush bashing Internet sites like the well known  "Patriotic Forum"  and monitored the following exchanges and conversations.

 

"If it was environmental" forum owner O. Contraire said, "we could just yell 'Kyoto' and it's a done deal."

 

"But, this is geological. I mean, as evil as Bush is, I don't think even he had anything to do with this one. But no way are we going to let him off    the hook. - it's got to be Bush's fault, somehow” said inside the beltway liberal-Democrat poster "Bob" Shishka    

"Oh, no, we won't. But it's pretty clear we have to come up with an angle that makes sense." O.Contraire answered. "Is there anything the U.S. has been doing in the last four years that could have caused a seismic disturbance of this caliber?"

"You mean like f-cking Bush and Cheney drilling in the ocean for oil?" Asked Ms Birdie Plagiary the forum conspiracy expert.

"Yeah, stuff like that. Or that low frequency noise the Navy uses to bother dolphins. There's lots of evil things our military is doing to the environment."

Ms Plagiary took a breath and said, "How about something along the lines of global warming causing the ocean to be more full of water and that made the waves bigger than they should have been? That way we can nail Bush and the SUV drivers for thousands of unnecessary deaths."

"Great idea Birdie", said O.Contraire, "say, thats the first time I've ever heard you put two original sentences together." "Shit, I got the idea from my husband, Blueballs – we're a team” said Birdie.

 

Copiedrite 2004, The Assorted Press and Der Arme Fritz Inc.

(With thanks to friend Chad, the Elder for the idea.)