Hillary Gives Up Presidential Hopes For Now – says she will visit our troops to sing and tap dance for them

Posted by: Fritz ^®

07/16/2004, 12:52:03

Hillary to Sing for Troops Gives up Presidential plans

By The ASSORTED PRESS (TAP)

Disappointed Hillary will entertain troops.

July 16, 2004 (TAP)-- U.S. Senator Hillary Clinton announced today that, in her words, as long as she was "screwed" out of running for the top honcho position until at least 2012, she would sing, tap dance and recite patriotic poetry to entertain American troops.

New York's junior Senator has worked out a schedule to make appearances before American servicemen and women singing a medley of patriotic favorites like 'This is My Country,' 'America the Beautiful' and 'God Bless America'.

Senator Clinton said, “I’m going to wear a sexy red, white and blue blouse and short shorts, I'll let our troops see what they can home to after their tour of duty".

A spokesman for the USO said, "Sen. Clinton's sole reason for making this trip is to encourage our men and women fighting for freedom from tyranny and terror. We were thrilled to honor her request to sing for the troops. Rumor has it that her voice is a dead ringer for Kate Smith."

Unnamed Democratic party sources say that a bitter Sen. Clinton has come to realize that no matter who wins in 2004, Sen. Edwards will be the new sunny-faced hero of the Democratic party for the future.

Copied Right 2004, The Assorted Press and "The Good Witch of the West" inc.