Terrorist Bomb Explodes Early: No Virgins Await

By The Assorted Press

June 4, 2004 (TAP) -- An Iraqi Muslim cleric, Fuqmi L. Iqadohg, said that "no virgins await" three members of the Ahhait dis Vorkenjob martyr’s brigade who accidentally blew themselves up while trying to plant a bomb next to a road leading to an American military compound.

"There is no partial credit," said Fuqmi L. Iqadohg. "You either kill some Infidel-Americans and get 72 virgins in paradise, or you fail to kill Americans and you're just another dead Muslim. No virgins for you."

Members of the martyrs sect initially claimed that the men had died in an American tank attack, but later admitted the blast was a "work accident."

A large sign on the local Ahhait dis Vorkenjob building now reads: "Our martyrs have gone '0' days without a work-related accident. Remember, safety is good Muslim's job."


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