January 14, 2006 (TAP) -- Fragments of a hominid skull found near the Kennedy family compound in Massachusetts last month, may be the missing link between apes and today's liberal Democrats.

Dubbed "Liberalus Man", the skull features a narrow cranial cavity and wide protruding jaw bones. The protruding jaw bones would have given the missing link an immense pig-like head similar to that of present day liberal Ted Kennedy.

Scientists have long speculated about the possibility of an ape-like ancestor for the modern liberal Democrat. However, all previously discovered hominid skulls had brain cases so large that they would prohibit the narrow thinking necessary to cling to the failed socialist theories of today's liberals.

The discovery of "Liberalus Man" opens the possibility that even if modern liberal Democrats didn't evolve from lower life forms, a similarly narrow-minded creature may have once roamed the earth.

Some in the scientific community speculate that Liberalus Man may have died off when it refused to alter its radical leftwing views to face reality.

Copyrite 2006, The Assorted Press and "Fritz the X-rated cat" Inc.

 

FH