The Assorted Press

 

The Assorted Press Interview With “Sandy” the Libertarian

By Blitz Wolfer, TAP political editor

 

November 2, 2004 (TAP) -- Shortly after posting a message at her favorite “nonpartisan” political forum, the Patriot, Shanda Leer the well-known Internet writer took time to speak to our political editor, Blitz Wolfer. “Please call me ‘Sandy’”, Ms Leer told our editor.

Below is a partial transcript of that interview.

Sandy, as she would like to be called, was questioned and spoke on a wide range of subjects from her Hollywood experiences, her busy political writing career and to her many dislikes and “enemies”.

TAP: You recently had a falling out with your old Internet friend, Fritz; what happened?

SANDY: Old friend Fritz? Who is Fritz? I don’t want to know Fritz since he became a Bush supporter. Well, anyway Fritz got mad at me when I emailed a hit piece on Bush to some of Fritz’s friends and relatives.

TAP: I understand that you had a personal relationship with Ronald and Nancy Reagan when you lived in California.

SANDY: Yes, Ronald and Nancy were among my many famous Hollywood friends when I worked there. I helped Nancy and Ronald Reagan starting in 1963 and stayed with them all the way until they made it to the White House. 

TAP: Some male Internet posters find that your somewhat abrasive attitude toward men in general is off-putting. Do you really hate men?

SANDY: Of course I don’t hate men, or at least I wouldn’t if they kept their dicks in their pants. I've learned that Christian men don't live too long and once out of the way, the women can return to constructive and intelligent lives again. 

TAP: I understand that you have strong views on abortion on demand for all women.

SANDY: Damn those of you who cannot think for yourself on any issue of importance!  Vote for your prohibition on abortion and sleep like babies tonight.  You may wake up tomorrow winning your candidate.  Only to a Christian would losing freedoms be more important that living in Liberty.  To all those adulterous Christian men who can’t keep their dicks in their pants I say “go build an orphanage before you try your pro-life shit on me”. 

TAP: The Assorted Press has learned that you left the Republican Party; does that mean you will not be voting for President Bush?

SANDY: Bush has been a total failure on every level of American security and protection. The terrorists run loose all over the globe and Bush is concentrating on building a police state over Americans themselves.  Bush has bought the backing of the neocons and the religious right.  Neither group has a clue about liberty, freedom or individual rights. 

TAP: It has been reported that you don’t care much for religion or to be more specific Christianity, is that true?

SANDY: If Bush wins today, the country is ruined!  We will end up like every other Christian nation in the history of the world. But you faithful voters never think about anything but your religion.  What a waste you are to American freedoms. What a pain in the ass you people are for the rest of us who want our country back!!!

TAP: Are you active in other political matters, Republican or Democratic?

SANDY: I get hundreds of emails every day from important people agreeing with my positions and me. It was me who brought in Perot and kept Bush 41 from being reelected, I actually made it work. There are thousands of Christian Republicans who still blame me for Clinton.

TAP: You have been accused of being too wordy, of responding with 10,000 word posts when a simple yes or no would have sufficed, what do you say to this?

SANDY:  (Editorial note, Sandy’s answer to this question was too lengthy to include in this article.)

TAP: Some Internet posters unfriendly to you have said you are self-centered, egotistical, paranoid, cranky, difficult, abrasive, that you engage in the practice of talking about yourself too much and that you have an exaggerated sense of self-importance – any truth in this?

SANDY: That’s’ bullshit. These are just ugly rumors being spread by Christian men in order to discredit me in the eyes of my many, many important friends in Hollywood, in Washington and in the political forums that I participate in.

TAP: How about the accusation that you have often left political forums in an angry state and insisted you would never return only to come back a few days later – and have you now found a forum acceptable to your standards?

SANDY: As an important writer and mover in politics I have made some enemies among Christian men. These evil Christians have followed me and hounded me from forum to forum, what else could I do? Yes, I have found a good forum acceptable to me, they seem to like my style of Bush-bashing and that in turn endears me to Mr. O. Contraire the owner of the “Patriot Forum”.

TAP: One final question; is there any truth to the rumor that you once posted at the Right Minds forum pretending to be a man and calling yourself “Uncle Fud”?

SANDY: I don’t want to answer any more questions.

TAP: Thank you Ms Shanda Leer, we hope to talk to you again, we have more questions for you.

SANDY: Okay Blitz, if I don't like the way this turns out my lawyer is going to sue your ass.

 

CopiedRite, 2004 by the Assorted Press and “Fritz the x-rated cat” Inc.

 

This article is a work of almost fiction. Names, characters, various fora and incidents are either the product of the Assorted Press editor’s imagination or are used facetiously and any resemblance to actual persons is probably a product of your own vivid imagination anyway. The Assorted Press keeps a lawyer on retainer just in case.

 

This article was printed on acid-free paper recycled from copies of the NY Times.